There’s no such thing as a “perfect” marriage or a “perfect” partner. Even Drs. John and Julie Gottman, widely considered the world’s foremost experts on marriage, have to work on their relationship just like the rest of us.
Dr. Julie Gottman recently told a story about how she and her husband have to follow their own advice.
“If I was really upset about something or making a complaint about a behaviour of his, rather than going defensive, he would say, ‘What do you need? Honey, what do you need?’ And immediately all the tension would melt away. The anger would melt away. It was a balm to my soul.”
Julie further explains that “John recognized that when I was upset about something, first of all, my feelings were valid. He loved me and my feelings mattered.”
We know that our methods, like understanding and validating one another’s feelings in moments of conflict, aren’t always easy. But with consistent, everyday practice, you, too, can become a master of relationships.
Source: Marriage Minute- The Gorman Institute